Rules for Living

My Dear Friends:

Having been recently advised by an extremely upset individual (I apparently have the ability to do that to some people), that I am a brutish, insensitive and politically incorrect animal, it is with a certain amount of reluctance and embarrassment that I must now admit various personal character flaws of which I am only now becoming aware, having had the opportunity to explore a wealth of material written by "experts" on these issues, who have caused me to think about long held opinions on the matters at hand.
I was, after all, raised during the 1950's and 1960's in the Mid-West, by a WWII combat veteran and his English War-Bride, surrounded by families of similar social complexion and within bike riding distance of a paternal grandmother who weathered the Great Depression after having lost her husband to disease and the family savings to a bank whose president promptly locked the door to his office and blew his brains out all over his desk in shame. Despite great adversity, to the day she died, you could run a plumb line from the back of Grandma's head to the bottom of her heels and never see daylight. By my parents and my Grandmother, I was rudely forced to dig dandylions with an old bayonet, mow lawns, do dishes, wash and iron my own clothes, cook meals, clean pheasants, take out the garbage and make my own bed. It was also this cast of characters who instilled in me the afore-mentioned list of apparently totally inappropriate values, principles and rules that have caused me to develop into the blighted, politically incorrect creature whose abject worthlessness you have been forced to suffer all these years. Such values, principlese and rules as these ten:

1. When you play a ball game (ANY BALL GAME), somebody will win and somebody will lose. The winners usually win because they played a better game than the losers. The winners should thank the losers for the game (its called sportsmanship) and the losers should go work on getting better so they can be winners next time, or the time after that. The losers are not supposed to be happy that they lost. Winning does not make you a better player. Only losing can make you a better player. The same is true in every field of endeavor you will engage in throughout your life. That's why we have competition. Losing is supposed to make you feel bad about yourself.

2. If you run from a neighborhood bully who you know can whip you, you will continue to run from adversity all your life. Better to make your stand and get the hell kicked out of you, striking one solid blow in the process and leaving the bully with the certain knowledge that he is going to have to fight you every damn time he braces you, without fail, and the more you fight, the better you will get at it until the day when you thrash him so badly that he stops being a bully. That is why God gives us bullys. So that we can savor the delicious flavor of courage until we make it a staple in our diet. Fighting for what is right does not require "Anger management counseling".

3. Opening a door for a woman, or an older man is not a sign that you think they are weak. Its an expression of respect. Doing it without fail, without thinking, without hesitation, earns you a "Thank you" from a well-mannered lady or gentleman. Failing to do it in front of Grandma is absolutely guaranteed to get the teeth slapped clear out of your head. Afterward, she will cry in disappointment, which hurts you a damn sight more than getting slapped ever could. Grandma did not require a "Domestic Abuse Assessment".

4. Lying to one's father, after pulling some head up ass stunt, will get you whipped twice with a razor strop (if you don't know what that is- Google it). Once for doing whatever it is that you did. Once for trying to lie your way out of it. And the old man, will ALWAYS know, when you are lying. Its a math problem, figure it out. In those days, fathers were not charged with assault for trying to turn a smart-assed kid into a responsible adult.

5. Doing the "best you can" is tricky. Only you will ever know, if you have done "the best you can" If you finish an endeavor and have ANYTHING left that you did not put into the effort, you have not done the best you can. So get off your ass and try again. God gives us mirrors so that we can get to know ourselves better.

6. There is only one person in the world responsible for your personal success or failure. That is you. If you work hard, refusing to stay down when you get knocked down, you will succeed. Blaming others for the decisions you make and the consequences that follow is a coward's way out. You can be your own bully. That's why its tricky.

7. "Talk is cheap. It takes money to buy whiskey." A saying which has nothing to do with whiskey and everything to do with making up your own mind about an issue without being swayed by what the masses think is "popular" of "appropriate". If we were meant by our creator to allow others to make up our minds for us, only one of us in a hundred would be given a brain of our own. Current conditions notwithstanding.

8. The men who signed the Declaration of Independence (and their women who stood beside them - Google Abigail Adams) saw their signatures on the document as a death sentence. So did King George of England. He ordered that each of them, and their families, be captured and hanged. It was not convenient, it was not popular, they did not listen to opinion polls, or run up trial balloons. They meant what they said, when they said it and each of them would very likely puke if they could see what has become of the country they forged with their "sacred honor" today. The price of freedom is eternal vigilence, not eternal comfort.

9. A firearm is a tool, like other tools. Learn when to use it, how to use it, how to clean it, how to respect what it does. It does not have a mind of its own and can only be used for good or evil based upon the intent and the purpose of the individual who picks it up. NO ONE in the entire history of mankind, has ever been shot with an unloaded firearm. Period.

10. There is "rich", and there is "wealthy". A man or woman, of little economic means, who is known for their honesty, who will stand up to a bully, whose few friends will come to their aid in the dark of the night without question or hesitation, who will stand on their hind legs and accept the consequences of their actions, whose people love them and who give love in return without reservation, that man or woman is "rich". Many a lonely, wealthy man has put a rope around his own neck, propelling himself into oblivion, without ever understanding the difference.

It is these values, and principles, among others that my family instilled in me and, in the process, turned me into the poor, politically incorrect, uncivilized ruffian that I am today. I suspect that there is little hope for me now. If knowing me, and realizing these character flaws of mine, causes you discomfort, I should be truly sorry.
But, as those of you who know me realize . . . . .
I'm not. Not even one damn little bit.
Oh, and by the way, I've pretty much had it. I'D LIKE TO HAVE MY COUNTRY BACK NOW! I suspect that if enough of us, of all races, creeds, orientations, religions and so forth, got mad enough to stop bickering amongst ourselves and started demanding this, at the top of our lungs, and fighting for it with our own "sacred honor", sooner or later the spineless, twisted bastards that currently are trying to ruin it, would have to give it back.
But that would take a rebellion . . . . . .
Its just a thought . . . . . . .